terrypetersen

An education isn’t how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It’s being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don’t. (Anatole France)

Our microwave decided it was overworked and gave up one morning. I don’t recall what year it moved into our small home, but it has lived on our counter top a long time. Perhaps it thought it had been taken for granted long enough because it lit up, spun its glass bottom twice, then stopped, as if to say, Sorry, I’m tired. Hire an appliance that doesn’t know what it’s up against. Okay?

So microwave went to the curb on trash day and was taken to a new home before the trucks came. Whether it was for an autopsy or revival we will never know. When we bought its replacement we decided a cart would be a nice idea. The store where we purchased the microwave didn’t have any carts, but an employee suggested another place nearby.

There weren’t any carts in that store either, but there was one available in their catalog—unassembled.

“We can put it together for you, for a fee. Or you can do it yourself in about an hour,” the only person working in the store said. He showed no affect whatsoever, so I couldn’t tell whether he was bored or irritated with us.

We decided we could find someone to help us. However, the most carpentry-oriented persons weren’t available when the box arrived. One person offered, even though it wasn’t his forte; he gave more time and effort than he had.

Uh huh! Is an hour in actual or geological time? Side K or was it L fell as soon as it was screwed in? I observed. My mechanical abilities, or lack of them, are well known. I stood by for emergencies only—such as the appearance of blood. Fortunately, that didn’t happen. But anything that looked like a cart didn’t appear either. In one and one-half hours we had three wobbly pressboards with stripped screws.

I suspect it didn’t help when I fell over the assembly later.

Calling all persons who have a mechanical IQ that recognize more than rightsy-tightsy, lefty-loosey! Unfortunately they were all involved with real life situations of their own. Sure, I can save all the pieces until the time is right, but asking curious children not to touch is the same as asking for further investigation.

It was time to give up, even if it was costly. And it was. My engineer brother told me pressboard is unforgiving. The contacts fit one way, no room for error. He told me what needed to be done with dowels and a drill. Not the assignment for a newbie.

The cart is completed. Not gorgeous, but upright.

Lessons for all artist types who need dictionaries in hardware stores: Stay away from pressboard if you are attempting do-it-yourself with anything more complicated than a poster. However, if you’ve done anything like we have, just go on and make a joke about it. Life is too precious to get stuck in corners that won’t meet.