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Archive for February, 2021

Failure doesn’t exist. It’s only a change of direction. (Alejandro Jodorowsky)

Oops! One smudge of cake batter on my pinky. And it tastes horrid. The mixture is missing…sugar! The surprise cake is for someone I love. However, this concoction would work better as an eviction notice for squirrels damaging the attic.

My creation. Saved in time.

An ice cream center, yes! A great idea. Until the freezer door is left partially open. The chocolate cake is lovely. But it looks like it was lined with pale pond scum.

My sweet guest isn’t in the mood for cake anyway. Then, she admits ice cream has been bothering her belly. I guess I need to change direction.

Amazing what sweetness can do. Depending upon what kind it is. Fortunately, in everyday life, flavor and savor don’t need to contain calories.  Amiability does require intention.

This time I am lucky. My guest and I haven’t seen one another for months. She settles in as if she were here yesterday. And the day previous.

“Help yourself,” I say. She puts hot sauce on her spaghetti. I smile but don’t try it.

Life doesn’t have much to do with my expectations. How much I adjust is another matter.

 

 

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It is never too late to be who you might have been. (George Eliot)

In my little-kid mind, perfect was how everyone started out. Everything fit a neat category called a rule or commandment. Unfortunately, rules declared their boundaries after they were crossed.  

“Be back in a minute. I have to pee,” I said one ordinary day after I learned the new word from a friend. We referred to the body function as tinkling. Mom’s screaming sounded as desperate as it had when I built a fire in the basement. I was five on that unfortunate day. My brothers and I had wanted to play campfire. I had found logs and planned to put the fire out. Eventually.

Everyday bathroom trips didn’t seem as awful as burning the house down.

As Mom yelled, I discovered her disdain centered around a crude difference in terminology. Nevertheless, I understood that both tinkle and pee had the same smell. I was wise enough not to argue the point.

Sure. Someday I would become an adult. The way a caterpillar morphs into a butterfly. As a six-or-seven-year-old kid, I suspected a rock could turn into a cloud before my heart and body had the slightest notion about adulthood.

Fortunately, I did grow up. But not in the straight-line, foolproof increments Mom expected. She did her best. I did too. Most of the time.

And I learned that growing up doesn’t need to be completed at a certain age. Finished adulthood sounds both static and boring. In fact, the longer I understand what it is like to be a child, the better I feel about every part of being alive.

Peace and happy growing to everyone, even if you are in the septuagenarian range like I am. Or older.

 

 

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In my dreams, I never have an age. (Madeleine L’Engle)

A framed photograph dusted now and then.

The image never changes. One dresser

dragged through locations and years.

 

Scratched, worn. I am part of both experiences.

My bedroom mirror and 1971 wedding picture

affirm long-gone years.

 

Not different women. I rise from a dream

and recall fragments of sunlit forest.

Ageless spirit sees through a body’s eyes.

 

Reality may make harsh demands.

Yet, when a spirit dreams and recognizes its

power, it has an ageless vision.

 

 

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Have no fear of perfection—you’ll never reach it. (Salvador Dali)

Miracles come in uncanny forms. I experienced one in between ice storms when February’s less subtle moods moved in on Thursday.

Sure, I realize a mask and my hearing aids have a tangled relationship. I know to pull the string as far out as possible before removing any face covering. However, my uncut, haven’t-been-to-the-salon, hair gets in the way. So does impatience.

Inside the comfort of my warm abode, I didn’t notice one aid didn’t make it into the house. Not right away. When I did, panic took over my brain. Panic is like setting fire to a dark house when lighting a candle will do.  

A room-to-room search yielded nothing. The gasp-at-the-cost item wasn’t there. I found my hearing aid on the street, next to my car door. The next morning. A fresh, round battery and tiny, white filter brought life back into the aid. Probably, something akin to device-CPR.

My sense of humor is back. Sun casts strong shadows on an imperfect world. I walk into it. And recognize the chill. More alert now. Oh, I doubt I’ll stay aware every moment for the rest of my life. But I hope I can forgive myself a tad quicker the next time imperfection visits my day.

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