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Archive for March, 2021

guilt and spice

“There’s no problem so awful, that you can’t add some guilt to it and make it even worse.” (voice of comic strip character, Calvin, Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes)

I found the following short poem among a stack of papers I saved. The pile needed to be faced before it reached the ceiling. Copies of stories since published, others that fit in the practice-until-you-get-it-right category, and sentimental items. I kept a few letters from friends now deceased. A birthday letter I wrote to my dad.

The pile is gone. The recycling bin was heavy before it was dragged away. The moment is free now.

I wrote Guilt in the winter of 1994. That is what it says at the bottom of the original. I can’t recall why that information was significant. I also don’t remember why these simple five lines appeared on blue parchment. It doesn’t matter. Move on… Learn… Grow…

 Guilt

A pinch of guilt

when used as spice

accentuates the real.

Regret is indigestible

when served as the main meal.

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The hand is the visible part of the brain. (Immanuel Kant)

Same person, skin, muscle, and bone. Yet, amazing the difference between a hand and a fist. Opened it can give and receive. Closed, tightened with anger, it becomes a weapon.

Clenched in stressful situations, the same fingers reflect fear.

I tried to take a picture of my left-hand last night. Arthritis and an imperfectly recovered fractured metacarpal led my unsteady digits to create a blurred mess. The final product landed as delete permanently. Moreover, the photo centered on veins, age lines, and cracked nails. An accurate view. But at any age, the same thumb and four fingers can reach out, even if touch doesn’t make it all the way to another person’s grasp.

My hands can fold together in prayer, wash a dish, make soup for someone who is ill. Or they can grab the remote control and ignore the ringing phone.

My brain makes the choice. Imperfect words state my intention.

(photo based on a public domain photo

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We lose many things simply out of fear of losing them. (Paulo Coelho)

Anthropomorphic. Yup, I admit it. In this short blog, my coffee cup understands every word I say. I’m too lost in my own overfull agenda to hear it.

“Holy grounds, I had that mug a second ago. Where the heck did it go?”

“Before you made stew in the crock-pot, checked your email, put in a load of wash, emptied the dishwasher…By the way, my contents are iceberg cold.”

I walk through the kitchen, living room, and dining room.

“That wasn’t a second ago.” The cup’s tone is as cold as the coffee.

“Come on. Where are you? I need to leave for art class in less than thirty minutes.”

“Try locked in the microwave. Put in your hearing aids. Follow the beeps. Please, lady. I’d open the door by myself, but your screaming would crack my surface. I’ve heard your descant. You strike a mighty high range.”

“Oh, there it is. Maybe if I heat it again, I’ll have time to drink at least half.”

“Then leave me with a dark ring around my middle. Gee thanks.”

“Now to get my shoes…Wait a minute! I know I took them off while I was on the couch.”

“Hah, hah,” says a black, old slip-on from just under the sofa. “I thought I would help us both out a bit, mug. She takes me for granted, too.”

Some of my things have a bizarre sense of humor.

 

 

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Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean. (Laurence J. Peter)

Maple syrup spilled

in the back of my refrigerator.

 

As I scrub, beeps sound

a warning. Close the door. Now.

 

A fridge’s chill skill weakens

when heated air threatens its territory.

 

Maple goo has attacked a jar of pickles

This won’t take long, I hope.

 

I scrub, giving no anesthesia to mechanical

cries. Yet when I wait on hold

 

for three-calls-ahead

at my local pharmacy

 

during a pandemic rage,

I sometimes sigh and pace, as if

 

the workload of a short-staffed drugstore didn’t exist.

I have an agenda. Twenty-six hours forced into twenty-four.

 

A bit at a time, I say to the fridge

opened for briefer moments.

 

A more intensive task comes next.

Removing stickiness inside me.

 

 

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