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Archive for the ‘inspiration’ Category

Dandelions, like all things in nature are beautiful when you take the time to pay attention to them. (June Stoyer)

Good afternoon, human. I’ve been awake since early morning, grateful last week’s pesticide spray missed me.

Sure, I’ll pose. There are tulips on the other side of the sidewalk. Red. Yellow. I noticed you didn’t stop to admire them. You knew people in the eighteenth century preferred my ancestors to mowed grass. Nice research. I am hardy, rise early, and sleep late. I appreciate the compliment.

Wait… Don’t leave so quickly. I’d like to play mirror with a homo sapiens for a minute. Because…because you are thinking about people who are important to you. One woman was beaten when she was a child. She needed to be rescued. Yet, her spirit shines brighter than my yellow surface.  Her giving is honest.

I talked a bit fast there. But I wanted to get a lot of stuff in. Strange, isn’t it, how some creations flourish where others dissolve with the next temperature rise? Not a judgment, just what it is. An orchid is in trouble when its leaves get too dark. Can’t change that in a human either. However, the human has more sources for support. Physical. Mental.

You didn’t expect that much from a plant, a flower, this ordinary, did you? Even you have your stereotypes. I hope to see you again after the next mowing. Keep your eyes open. Thanks for the chat.

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pool_LI

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. (Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches)

A few jumps in cool pool water and my moving body feels warmer. The water temperature hasn’t changed. I have.

Aerobics class begins. Participants exercise in rows, five to six persons in each section. Different ages and backgrounds. I chat with a woman my age about our years in similar classes. Septuagenarian status and exercise are the few bonds we share. Politically we could be on separate continents.

“She talks to us,” she says to her companion. The word us is understood without explanation. Her friend is more rigid in her position than my chatting counterpart. I don’t respond. Left and right. Why can’t we communicate? Why do labels need such sharp edges? Why can’t the pool water warm all realms of thought?

I banter with my companion. I don’t argue. I don’t throw pebbles at a brick wall and expect the wall to shatter, to transform into a mirror.

Answers. I am not sure they come in words. Love isn’t pure sweetness. It is more like dark chocolate. It needs a bitter side to be real. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a recipe. Show what is right rather than jabber about it. The child who never learns consequences begins life empty.

One more day. Open ears, but never an integrity compromise.

A few more jumps in the pool. I am comfortable here. The temperature of the water remains the same. It doesn’t need the same level of change as individuals who touch it. And then, perhaps, touch one another…

 

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clean sheets

The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.  (L.P. HartleyThe Go-Between)

THE SEASONS OF ENVY

When my kids were little
another young mother
ironed sheets, handkerchiefs,

boxer shorts, and the white T-shirts
her husband wore
to repair other folks’ plumbing.

A super-heroine mom.
I don’t recall her name.
We belonged to the same circle,

but I rarely spoke to her.
I thought we were too different.
Her kids appeared photo-shoot ready,

even in the sandbox.
Before noon my kids’ shirts needed pre-soak.
My boys called dress-up clothes corpse attire,

and a shirt buttoned to the neck, a noose.
Hours bonding with an iron didn’t suit my lifestyle.
Yet, I wondered how super-mom managed.

I honored her the way some people venerate saints,
the ones who accept martyrdom over burning coals
as if it were sunburn.

I meditate as I iron. Her explanation. Life’s wrinkles transformed.
Mine remained. I recall those days 
as I change bed sheets on an ordinary Thursday afternoon.

I notice holes in fabric
that has lasted through bleach, hot water,
myriad spins, more than one washer and dryer.

I consider the decades,
the blood clot in my lung, my parents’ funerals,
and nights when I couldn’t sleep.

I rub my hand over creases
and feel the texture of old cotton,
as if I could gather the years,

hold and thank them
for loss and imperfections
that have added character to my imperfections.

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You are imperfect, permanently, and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful. (Amy Bloom)

 

Like a Goldfinch

I look for the male goldfinch each Spring,

for the bright yellow feathers that say,

I am here and so is the warmth of a new season.

 

Yet, the goldfinch visits my feeder

all winter.  He perches, dressed in drab,

everyday browns and grays.

In each season, whether white or green,

he flies away, thistle-seed fed.

One avian creature with

different-mood feathers.

 

I recognize warm seasons,

sun-colored birds, and blue skies.

And call them acceptable.

 

And yet, manure that creates roses

irritates my sensibilities.

 

Welcome, Mr. Goldfinch

in whatever suit you wear.

I hope to embrace my grayer feathers

with equal enthusiasm.

 

 

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guilt and spice

“There’s no problem so awful, that you can’t add some guilt to it and make it even worse.” (voice of comic strip character, Calvin, Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes)

I found the following short poem among a stack of papers I saved. The pile needed to be faced before it reached the ceiling. Copies of stories since published, others that fit in the practice-until-you-get-it-right category, and sentimental items. I kept a few letters from friends now deceased. A birthday letter I wrote to my dad.

The pile is gone. The recycling bin was heavy before it was dragged away. The moment is free now.

I wrote Guilt in the winter of 1994. That is what it says at the bottom of the original. I can’t recall why that information was significant. I also don’t remember why these simple five lines appeared on blue parchment. It doesn’t matter. Move on… Learn… Grow…

 Guilt

A pinch of guilt

when used as spice

accentuates the real.

Regret is indigestible

when served as the main meal.

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The hand is the visible part of the brain. (Immanuel Kant)

Same person, skin, muscle, and bone. Yet, amazing the difference between a hand and a fist. Opened it can give and receive. Closed, tightened with anger, it becomes a weapon.

Clenched in stressful situations, the same fingers reflect fear.

I tried to take a picture of my left-hand last night. Arthritis and an imperfectly recovered fractured metacarpal led my unsteady digits to create a blurred mess. The final product landed as delete permanently. Moreover, the photo centered on veins, age lines, and cracked nails. An accurate view. But at any age, the same thumb and four fingers can reach out, even if touch doesn’t make it all the way to another person’s grasp.

My hands can fold together in prayer, wash a dish, make soup for someone who is ill. Or they can grab the remote control and ignore the ringing phone.

My brain makes the choice. Imperfect words state my intention.

(photo based on a public domain photo

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We lose many things simply out of fear of losing them. (Paulo Coelho)

Anthropomorphic. Yup, I admit it. In this short blog, my coffee cup understands every word I say. I’m too lost in my own overfull agenda to hear it.

“Holy grounds, I had that mug a second ago. Where the heck did it go?”

“Before you made stew in the crock-pot, checked your email, put in a load of wash, emptied the dishwasher…By the way, my contents are iceberg cold.”

I walk through the kitchen, living room, and dining room.

“That wasn’t a second ago.” The cup’s tone is as cold as the coffee.

“Come on. Where are you? I need to leave for art class in less than thirty minutes.”

“Try locked in the microwave. Put in your hearing aids. Follow the beeps. Please, lady. I’d open the door by myself, but your screaming would crack my surface. I’ve heard your descant. You strike a mighty high range.”

“Oh, there it is. Maybe if I heat it again, I’ll have time to drink at least half.”

“Then leave me with a dark ring around my middle. Gee thanks.”

“Now to get my shoes…Wait a minute! I know I took them off while I was on the couch.”

“Hah, hah,” says a black, old slip-on from just under the sofa. “I thought I would help us both out a bit, mug. She takes me for granted, too.”

Some of my things have a bizarre sense of humor.

 

 

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Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean. (Laurence J. Peter)

Maple syrup spilled

in the back of my refrigerator.

 

As I scrub, beeps sound

a warning. Close the door. Now.

 

A fridge’s chill skill weakens

when heated air threatens its territory.

 

Maple goo has attacked a jar of pickles

This won’t take long, I hope.

 

I scrub, giving no anesthesia to mechanical

cries. Yet when I wait on hold

 

for three-calls-ahead

at my local pharmacy

 

during a pandemic rage,

I sometimes sigh and pace, as if

 

the workload of a short-staffed drugstore didn’t exist.

I have an agenda. Twenty-six hours forced into twenty-four.

 

A bit at a time, I say to the fridge

opened for briefer moments.

 

A more intensive task comes next.

Removing stickiness inside me.

 

 

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Failure doesn’t exist. It’s only a change of direction. (Alejandro Jodorowsky)

Oops! One smudge of cake batter on my pinky. And it tastes horrid. The mixture is missing…sugar! The surprise cake is for someone I love. However, this concoction would work better as an eviction notice for squirrels damaging the attic.

My creation. Saved in time.

An ice cream center, yes! A great idea. Until the freezer door is left partially open. The chocolate cake is lovely. But it looks like it was lined with pale pond scum.

My sweet guest isn’t in the mood for cake anyway. Then, she admits ice cream has been bothering her belly. I guess I need to change direction.

Amazing what sweetness can do. Depending upon what kind it is. Fortunately, in everyday life, flavor and savor don’t need to contain calories.  Amiability does require intention.

This time I am lucky. My guest and I haven’t seen one another for months. She settles in as if she were here yesterday. And the day previous.

“Help yourself,” I say. She puts hot sauce on her spaghetti. I smile but don’t try it.

Life doesn’t have much to do with my expectations. How much I adjust is another matter.

 

 

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It is never too late to be who you might have been. (George Eliot)

In my little-kid mind, perfect was how everyone started out. Everything fit a neat category called a rule or commandment. Unfortunately, rules declared their boundaries after they were crossed.  

“Be back in a minute. I have to pee,” I said one ordinary day after I learned the new word from a friend. We referred to the body function as tinkling. Mom’s screaming sounded as desperate as it had when I built a fire in the basement. I was five on that unfortunate day. My brothers and I had wanted to play campfire. I had found logs and planned to put the fire out. Eventually.

Everyday bathroom trips didn’t seem as awful as burning the house down.

As Mom yelled, I discovered her disdain centered around a crude difference in terminology. Nevertheless, I understood that both tinkle and pee had the same smell. I was wise enough not to argue the point.

Sure. Someday I would become an adult. The way a caterpillar morphs into a butterfly. As a six-or-seven-year-old kid, I suspected a rock could turn into a cloud before my heart and body had the slightest notion about adulthood.

Fortunately, I did grow up. But not in the straight-line, foolproof increments Mom expected. She did her best. I did too. Most of the time.

And I learned that growing up doesn’t need to be completed at a certain age. Finished adulthood sounds both static and boring. In fact, the longer I understand what it is like to be a child, the better I feel about every part of being alive.

Peace and happy growing to everyone, even if you are in the septuagenarian range like I am. Or older.

 

 

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