“May the Forks Be with You.”
Neologisms
A neologism is a created word. The following are cooking terms developed from writing while cooking, generally not a meal worth repeating.
speeel-over: a spill in the oven caught by the smoke alarm. The number of e’s is contingent upon the size of the spill and the amount of time it takes to get the smoke out of the kitchen.
eggsplodor: eggs boiled until all water is evaporated and they explode, generally onto the ceiling and walls. The name is suggested by both sound and scent.
charcolate chip cookies: This one could be self-explanatory. Degrees range from ridge-only-dark to even-the-dog-won’t-sniff-it.
unrestirable sauce/gravy: any liquid kept on a stove long enough that a black, sticky residue develops on the bottom. If it takes longer than a week of soaking and more than two steel wool pads to clean the pot, it becomes compaste because of its similarity to compost and its amazing glue-like capabilities.
nuke-a-tray: a frozen microwave dinner, the only alternative if all five scenarios occur on the same day.
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