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Posts Tagged ‘life on life’s terms with humor’

Two or three things I know for sure, and one of them is the way you can both hate and love something you are not sure you understand. (Dorothy Allison)

The computer is my friend—most of the time. And, I suspect it is the buddy of anyone who browses the Internet. Explore the world in pajamas or old scrub-the-house clothes. At any time of the night or day. Between wash and dry cycles or in the ten minutes before guests arrive for dinner. The night before a paper is due or at a whim. Just what is the derivation of the word derivation, or what is the area code for Boise, Idaho? A laptop opens within seconds; it allows access to a desired page with the click of a mouse, and finds places and information that once took a seeker, usually a student, hours in a library.

Even now, years after college, I recall the huge, sturdy cabinets of Dewey Decimal System catalog cards with the miniature yellow pencils and papers at nearby tables, pieces small enough to hide in the palm of my hand. The cabinet at the downtown library in the late 1960s and early 1970s housed the world’s knowledge. It looked like a square castle without a moat. Imaginary alligators swam in the invisible space around the cabinet, but they bit just as deeply. I called that space ignorance. Just where do I go for my answer?  If I was looking into history, but selected an artist, was my pot-of-gold answer supply in art or history? Sure, the cards supplied clues, but I wasted time wandering anyway when the area around the cabinet was crowded with fellow seekers.

If the material happened to be reference, I copied the search info on the tiny paper and took it to a librarian behind a central desk in the appropriate department, who relayed it to someone in the basement. If the material was found, and someone else wasn’t already using it, I wrote all the facts on three by five inch cards, noting source for reference at the bottom of the page on my paper. Usually, I forgot a page number or part of a name and hoped and prayed that somewhere in the research that information was repeated. My own handwriting also caused problems. Uh, was that an h or a b in Harvey Whatsbisname, creator of the fudge factor?  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Library_catalog (for a picture of an old catalog)

The work finally reached line-paper, written-out, ready-to-be-typed form—on a manual Royal typewriter. On onion skin paper that smeared ink as if it were cheap black lipstick. In the basement of my house. With a single-bulb light hanging above, papers blurred by tears as I made impossible-to-repair mistakes on the last line. I had to retype the entire page.

The good old days? Maybe not.

However, I suspect that even the tech savvy utter a curse or two at least, through clenched teeth, when problems arise.

And they do appear. Several days ago I spent hours fussing, changing passwords, talking to some fine folk on the other side of the globe, via a local call transfer. And still, I hold my breath as I enter this Internet space and then that, feeling uncertain all the way.

No point in droning on about the details of electronic hiccups. They happen. I wrote the above for contrast. No, I don’t understand the world of 0’s and 1’s connected to this keypad, but they are an integral part of my life now. Keep the old typewriters behind glass and the old library systems in accessible articles.

The past doesn’t exist anymore. Let’s see what happens today. Maybe even celebrate it.

(where I stand in technological development)

baby at laptop

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Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.  (Minna Antrim)

Okay, I could tab to indent on my computer a few minutes ago. What happened? The cursor thinks a new paragraph begins toward the end of the line. Sure, the story I’m writing is fantasy, but the wild and unusual is supposed to remain within the context of the tale, not jump out into the keyboard.

So far I haven’t figured out how to fix it. In the meantime I count spaces and try to refrain from cursing—at least out loud. Impatience can be costly. More than once I have experienced the Lewis Carroll quote, “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.”  Several days ago I broke our Waterpik. Cracked an attachment. With my bare arthritic hands. Amazing what a little hurry can do. Then I noticed our printer is suffering from overuse and old age. Just when I promised to print out a couple hundred-thousand pages of something. (slight hyperbole)

Patience, patience, where art thou? Perspective, you should be around here somewhere, too. They both have a tendency to hide, generally when they are most needed. These are the times when made-from-scratch cakes fall. Cups fall from shelves and break, on their own of course. And that essential map for a trip gets left on the coffee table at home.

I sigh, and then pick up my plan for our small group’s church service on Sunday. Perhaps I should look at it and see if I am missing anything since my brain’s auto pilot seems out of whack. Darn, I sure don’t have to be concerned about running out of flour and oil like the widow in l Kings 17. Oh, we aren’t rich, by any means. Open our refrigerator door and the kitchen is blocked, but we aren’t poverty-stricken either. I have a computer, satisfactory health, and the ability to help others when they need it.

Pause. Breathe. Come back to the problem later. Or get someone else to help. Maybe even learn something new.

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Write what you know. That should leave you with a lot of free time. (Howard Nemerov)

Okay! The challenge is on.

I know imperfection inside and outside. My PhD has nothing to do with a doctorate in philosophy. I am positively of human design. The mirror has the audacity to point out every wrinkle and bulge in my barely five-foot-tall frame, and I don’t deny what it reflects. Sure I should have given away all of the rest of the Halloween candy, but some of it lives in a circle around my waist. At least the last bag will be empty soon. Then I can move on to perfection—never. Other flaws will pop out, probably out of my mouth in verbal form, or reflect in a stumble somehow.

Or, I can feel and worry a tad too much for my own good.

Last Sunday my precious oldest granddaughter broke her finger while she was at our house. I had answered the phone, and missed everything but the scream. As her mommy and daddy took her through the rounds of x-rays and doctors, my concern exceeded the practical.

In fact, as my husband and I took a long walk the next day, my little finger felt awkward inside my glove. Strange, I felt as if my hand didn’t fit into the weave anymore. Now that is going overboard! I suspect that if I had needed to take my granddaughter for the required medical visits, I would have quieted the over-the-top empathy and stood firm for her. However, that doesn’t mean my heart rate wouldn’t have developed the power to generate electricity.

Imperfect? The list of examples could go on for pages.

Somehow I suspect even the genius is made-up of more flaw than masterpiece. Omniscience is an incredible burden: no peers, all work, no play.

Give me friends who readily admit error. I’m comfortable around them. The folk who have all the answers either bore me into a stupor or tempt me to search the room for escape routes.

Okay, I’ve finished my dissertation on the common. Unfortunately, I don’t have hours of time left in my day to twiddle my thumbs and do nothing. Most of life’s chores don’t involve words;  knowledge is only part of my journey.

I hope everyone has an imperfectly perfect day, filled with sufficient blessing to see the unique in everyone, even that slightly off-center person reflected in the mirror.

(pic from The Optimism Revolution)

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We should tackle reality in a slightly jokey way, otherwise we miss its point. (Lawrence Durrell, novelist, poet, and playwright, 1912-1990)

Hi there, Refrigerator! Yeah, I know. We haven’t spent time together in awhile. Usually I just take what I need from you, or ask you to hold another few sacks of items from the grocery. In other words I take you for granted.

Oh, I hope your feelings weren’t hurt when you were leaking water from the freezer all over your interior. We threatened to replace you. I never asked whether you wanted to retire or not. I mean, some folk are a little sensitive about their age. But you came through in the end. Thanks—a little late.

But today, well, you looked kind of empty for a change, and I noticed you needed a good cleaning. Yeah, I know, I should have taken care of that weeks ago. Cans of expired soda. Guess it’s a good thing I’m not giving my grandkids junk drinks very often. Besides the cans were taking up shelf space that could be given more worthy attention.

What’s that? I couldn’t hear you over your compressor. Oh, you think this is some kind of metaphor. That the cleaning could really mean something else. That after all these years I should dump out old resentments hidden behind the sour tuna salad—something like that. Heck, I did that years ago!

But then, the oddest twinge comes up in me that has nothing to do with the pile of garbage rising on the floor. Sure I said I forgot all about that misunderstanding, moved on. Uh huh. That’s why I put the rotten lettuce next to the fresh milk right now. Hmmn, wonder if not-good-enough is hiding under the maple syrup ring. And fear of making a mistake is lurking in an unwashed corner. Okay, Ter, one more time, from the top, focused.

Guess you have a point, trusty, rusty old friend. Maybe we should get together more often.

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Why do writers write? Because it isn’t there. (Thomas Berger)

In the past few weeks I have felt surrounded by people suffering with grief or unspeakable pain. Sure, I do what I can, but that desire to take a mystical Magic Eraser and blot it all out for them, is still there. I suspect that is normal. When all the listening I can do is completed, it’s time to let it go, revitalize for the next round.

I decide to pick up a magazine and read it cover to cover—blank out a bit. My husband is watching sports. I don’t know enough about the ways of any ball to join him in that outlet. Yes, my new “Writers Digest.” No, the second article suggests writing grief. Pffft.

Next ploy. A poetry jam. What’s that? It’s a group of writers who bring one poem each, read them aloud, then write another and share again. There just happens to be one on Tuesday evening. The group is open to any poet, but the five of us who arrive also know one another from another group; we can be honest about who we are. Sadness mingles with laughter, two sides of the same day, morning and evening, light and darkness. Every word I hear inspires.

One of the poets has written, beautifully, about a storm. My thoughts go to the candle that fills in when the electricity goes out, and I write:

A candle flame trembles in the darkness.

Its brightness is rich as it casts long, uneven shadows.

Modern lighting claims fewer flaws.

I take its clarity for granted,

but have more in common with the quivering flame.

Peace upon all, through all!

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If God had intended us to follow recipes,
He wouldn’t have given us grandmothers.
(Linda Henley)

Sure when Kate demonstrated a cheerleader move I responded with a mighty high kick for a woman my age—right there on the sidewalk at a local shopping mall. Sophistication has never suited me. Of course it is unlikely I would have done it alone or with adult company, but this entry is not about either cheer leading or limber movements. It concerns creativity in the face of limitations.

I have asthma currently controlled with medication. Unfortunately the drugs have side effects. My hands tremble, especially after morning dosing. This doesn’t stop me. I play guitar, do calligraphy, and paint delicate glassware and children’s wear. But baking a custard pie means a spill in the oven and a shrill response from the smoke alarm.

Custard pie is one of my husband’s favorite desserts. It is also one of our best friend’s favorites. We are celebrating his birthday today, and I need to find a way to bake one without calling on the wrath of our ultra-sensitive battery-operated friend. I’ve tried the little-at-a-time trick and the pour-while-on-the-rack ploy. Both resulted in enough smoke to cure a ham.

I have an idea, and hope it will work. I call it bowl pie, made the same way I make any other custard pie, and it is relatively simple.) I figure the mixture will be easier to pour into a bowl without spilling. I make my crust in an oven-safe bowl, then press it against the side. While that warms in a 350 degree oven I heat two cups of skim milk and one-half cup sugar in a pot just enough to steam. Then, I whisk in four eggs and a teaspoon of vanilla, add nutmeg to taste, pour into the prepared bowl and bake. (Heating both crust and filling keeps the bottom from getting soggy.) Bake for about an hour.

Since the custard pie doesn’t come to the top, I add a can of apples mixed with fresh blueberries for color when the bowl pie is done. Cherries would also work. The only problem with this dessert is that it is difficult to cut small pieces.

My guests don’t see that as much of a problem. The scale tomorrow however, could have a different point of view. This isn’t something I plan to prepare every day, however. I mean, I’d like to continue kicking, literally and figuratively, with my grandchildren a bit longer. Don’t care how peculiar it looks to folks who pass by.

Sorry there is no picture of the pie. There isn’t enough left to photograph.

from Positive Inspirational Quotes

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Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. (Pablo Picasso)

Actually, computers create problems, too. Just like people do. They woo you with all their abilities. They save and organize your thoughts and let you speak to people all over the world at the touch of a key. They are insidious for many with an addictive gene. If I’m honest I will admit that I have checked e-mail before brushing my teeth in the morning. I’ve plugged in a line or two of a story at two o’clock in the morning. Not often, but frequently enough to say yes on a computer-addict survey if there were such a thing.

Now my little Asus is struggling. Can’t go into detail. Not now. But her physician, Alan, my nephew, will be visiting tomorrow. That is why there haven’t been any posts the last few days. However, Alan said I should be okay—at least for now. So, I tell my baby she will heal, eventually. And the truth is that my laptop won’t need a sedative during servicing. But I might!

Who knows? Perhaps in this process I will learn a bit more about the 0’s and 1’s that create the infinite possibilities that combine and make me fall into both love and hate for this technology.

In the meantime, paper and pen are good—as long as I can read my own handwriting.

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A pleasure is not full grown until it is remembered. (C.S. Lewis)

I promised I would compile the photos from our Germany and Austria trip into a memory book, and I am. Finally. Our box of photos could give a hernia to a seasoned weight lifter. It’s possible that some of the pages devoted to Austria should really have been pasted into the Germany section—or the other way around. Don’t know. After almost a month, my memory cells have lost potency. Procrastination. Darn! The word fits. Sure I babysat a lot and didn’t have the blocks of time I wanted. But would it have been so awful if I had done this a little at a time and remembered which gold cathedral was in which city? Looks like I’m going to have a forty-nine-page book when I’m finished.

The carpet is scattered with pieces of colored paper. My fingers are glued together. Other obligations wait. I have two critiques to finish. Laundry waits to be folded, and my dust rag feels lonely. Can’t be helped. Once the stacks of pictures have been assembled they have to be tacked down. Otherwise they move. On their own. They need to be carefully monitored. I know darned well I had a stack of Salzburg pics on the right of the ones from Eagle’s Nest, or were they to the left of the Innsbruck pile? I couldn’t possibly have made a mistake. I mean, those upside-down pages turned when I got up to get the mail, didn’t they?

Getting up from the floor, now there’s another problem with long-term work of this nature. A table isn’t big enough. I like to spread out over a large space, but my knees and feet don’t always agree with the positions I give them. Such complainers! After a mere three hours they cramp and remind me that while I may play on the floor with my grandchildren, my stamina isn’t as keen as theirs is.

I have to admit, however, that the work isn’t a burden. As I work I remember following the Sound of Music tour in Salzburg, some behind-the-scenes unknown facts. It took two weeks for the producer of the movie to convince the mayor to allow a Nazi flag to be flown. The flag is illegal. Finally it was permitted only for the duration of the scene. During the opening of the musical, a helicopter filmed the scene where Maria sings, “The hills are alive with the sound of music.” They were alive all right. The whirling of the helicopter blades made it difficult for Julie Andrews to stand.

The ending of the story is complete fantasy. To walk from Salzburg to Switzerland would be like walking from Cincinnati to St. Louis. Moreover, if the family climbed the mountain in the film, which isn’t really feasible, they would have landed in an area now known as Eagle’s Nest, Hitler’s headquarters. Of course it is unlikely that Hitler himself would have been there. He didn’t like heights.

Perhaps some of the album I am putting together contains fiction, too. Well, perhaps it’s just a bit out of order here and there.

“Sweetheart,” I ask my husband. “Was this picture taken in Innsbruck or Munich?”

“Uhm, Salzburg,” he answers.

Oh well, at least I remember all the fun, and those moments are finding a place in time very well, thank you.

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It’s the little things you do that make the big things happen. (Mike Dooley)

Multitask pretending—it’s a skill reserved for people with young chi. At least four-year-old Rebe (Rebecca) lets me know when she’s changing roles. Sometimes I ask leading questions for their humorous value.

“I’m your baby-sitter, teacher, sister, and mommy,” she says totally unaware of any problem with combining those possibilities.

“Okay, so what are you now?”

“I’m your mommy and I’m going to have a baby. Today.”

“How old are you, Mommy?”

“Sixteen. Or is that thirteen?”

Somehow I manage not to laugh out loud.

I expect to see her stuff a plush animal under her shirt, but it doesn’t happen. Instead she shifts into the teacher position and scribbles on a green chalk board. Mommy appears minutes later with my new sister, a white bunny with a pink shirt. She also carries an old worn toy snowman, carrot nose lost a long time ago.

“This is your brother, too,” she says. “He doesn’t have a mommy or daddy. So he is going to live with us.” Her tone is matter of fact. She hands me the snowman. No instruction. Love comes naturally to our preschooler, and she expects the same of me. I won’t let her down. Strange that she knows to choose the poorest looking creature in the toy section. And yet, she doesn’t hesitate to give.

Sometimes little folk aren’t pretending; they really are teachers.

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