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Posts Tagged ‘parent-child relationship healing’

Birth, an Imagined Memory

Posted in poetry, tagged , , , , , , , , , on May 5, 2025| Leave a Comment »

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

Mark Twain

BIRTH

Swollen, toxic, ignorant of motherhood,
you lie in your post-World War hospital bed,
and wonder if you’ve heard lies.
How can a newborn, untouched
by her life source, be fine?

You see, hear, touch, smell nothing but
bleached sheets and ward antiseptics.
The baby develops away from you
in a nursery. You return home. Without her,
cord leaked into your severed womb.

At home, baby grows fed on evaporated milk
and rules made of rules. Should-be’s without question.
The child reaches for you, to break the barrier,
but not until long after she delivers your grandson.

Does the touch feel real?
By then your weakness has led to the inevitable.

Your great-granddaughter finds your photo in an old album.
“That’s my mother,” your daughter says.
“You would have loved her.”
The chasm finally closes.
For no good reason at all.

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Should, Should, and More Should

Posted in inspiration, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on February 3, 2022| Leave a Comment » 












There is no way you should feel, there is only the way you feel. 
(Akiroq Brost)



How easy it would be if life
could be explained in a word
or two, if should transferred
into reality the way words fit
on a page. In blocks. At least

my mother believed it. She
made sure I recited rules in
perfect cadence. Know the
answer without studying any
questions. Feelings had no


place outside a prayer book.
Strange. Now, I wish I could
reverse roles. Hold her hand
and tell her that I understand
why her care arrived broken.

              Mom, years before you died, 
                                             I told you I loved you.
                                                             You didn’t know what to say.
                                                                                        But you heard my voice.

And I stepped outside the rigorous
                  lines set by 
                            impossible perfection.

I look into the sky now
                        and find more colors
                                         than blue, white, and black. 

And I wish that I had found
                             rainbow memories inside you.
                                         I know they are there. Even now.



					
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I’ll Smile. From the Heart. Not a Command

					

					Posted in inspiration, positive thinking, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,  on May 19, 2020|
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separated smilesThe way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. (Dolly Parton)


“Put a smile on your face.” A quote. Made by almost any parent. Well-meant perhaps, but misleading. First, the smile needs to be placed in the heart. It isn’t an accessory, like a hat or sweater.


As a teenager, I recall fussing about my thin, flyaway hair. I tried to make it look like someone else’s.


“Pretty is as pretty does,” my mother said with a face that stated, “And you are not pretty in appearance or deed.” That notion could have been restated. “This may seem important to you now. I can show you a better way.” I am glad I eventually discovered a new mirror.


The illustration pictures separated smiles. Without the rest of the person, they appear strange. The completed faces that belong to these mouths, have blessed me. One belongs to my sister. Another to my daughter-in-law. The baby’s grin belongs to my growing, youngest grandchild.


Sure, I’ll put on a smile. A smile that comes from the heart and soul. Not to a command. Sadness is real. It doesn’t need to be fed, but it does need to run its course.


Perhaps joy may take some time. Like waiting through a pandemic. Like hours of labor before birth. Like the negative space that gives lace and art its beauty.


The picture is metaphorical. I have heard all three of the voices attached to these lips, felt their presence, even if that physical touch was distant. These voices speak love.


The past can’t be changed. I offer my mother no advice. However, I have plenty to tell me. I don’t advise someone else about how to feel. I do tell them they have value, then give them space to discover it for themselves.


 

					
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