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Posts Tagged ‘poem’

I feel a very unusual sensation—if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude. (Benjamin Disraeli) 

Darkness.

Because the electricity is out again. And I am accustomed to flipping a switch and accepting light. As my own right. Without any awareness of entitlement.

Darkness.

It can be a gift or a curse. Deepened colors reveal dimension in a painting. Shade provides relief from the bright sun. Or darkness can mean hatred without reason, an ignorance of color or shade.

Darkness

can be found in a moment or it can be stuck inside a locked mental space. It can be a fear, based on the past, or a fear, set on immediate danger.

Light.

The power has returned. Mechanical clocks flash and beg to be reset. They remember this moment and begin from here. A fresh place in local time.

Light.

Who do I know who needs a simple touch? Power. Start. With a word. Gratitude for who that person is. Now.

Light

joins with power. Hospitals heal patients. People can survive and thrive. A new day. And a new day in this simple, small house where two septuagenarians celebrate the gift of another day.

 

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I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine. (Neil Armstrong)

 I don’t remember when I wrote this poem, but the year 2020 didn’t exist. This year’s events would have belonged to science fiction. Yet, somehow, the poem fits. I pray hope and beauty live in the manure these twelve months have provided. Peace. For all.

ONE OLD LOST CALENDAR

I find an old, unmarked calendar.

Three-hundred-sixty-five blocks of freedom

promised in small pristine white boxes.

Twenty-eight to thirty-one on each page.

It had been a difficult year,

better forgotten in a dusty closet.

And yet, like soil that is no more than

ordinary dirt, the kind that grinds

under the fingernails,

hope and beauty

were planted into the grime.

And their seeds

continue to grow, inventing bizarre

and beautiful surprises.

 

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Just because a man lacks the use of his eyes doesn’t mean he lacks vision. (Stevie Wonder)

I close my eyes and imagine

redwoods, orchids, open seas

as another scene sneaks inside

my skull. A friend with a white cane.

****

I recall an afternoon as I ask,

“How do you remember

so many phone numbers?”

She shrugs. Instead, she says,

****

“See, my cane tells me where the

step begins.” Laughing, she grabs my arm.

“Next time. I’ll drive.” Yet, I know

she has never seen clouds, a half or full moon.

****

She knows words like red, yellow, orange.

Does she understand color the way

I comprehend infinity?

“What time should I take you

****

to the store next week?” I ask.

She answers. Gratitude wrinkles

 a smile through her mask.

“See you on Tuesday,” I say.

****

See? I think.

I’m working on it.

I open my eyes,

perhaps a tad wider.

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(more…)

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You are imperfect, permanently, and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful. (Amy Bloom)

 Re-frame

 My grandchildren’s whiteboard hangs loosely from its frame, pulled too many times by small hands. 

Scribbles, playschool, a partial red coverup in green over five, seven, or more years. My oldest granddaughter

frees and cleans the open space. She attaches it to my door. Re-frame. What appears to be broken becomes new. 

The new no longer needs approval from outside. It is real, re-framed inside its own white borders.

 

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Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. (Rumi)

Now that I am aware that others know suffering, joy, pain, and every other human feeling the same way, I work with softer weapons. They never hit a target and rarely claim immediate results. However, love and compassion have unexpected side effects. May those side effects explode outside the form of a poem.

first published in For a Better World

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True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” (Oprah Winfrey)

What can’t be accomplished in reality, sometimes can be faced through poetry.

 

Facing the Darkness Under the Bed

 

As I sweep under my bed and touch

the darkness below the frame

I imagine going back into time

 

and watch my mom as her mother lies

on another bed. Twelve-year-old Mary Ann

cooks then washes dishes.

 

Her history textbook is opened

on the kitchen table. Ancient war dates fade,

battles with human losses,

 

each its own variation

of an untold Pyrrhic victory.

She hears a different kind of battle.

 

My mother as a young girl

longs to soothe the endless

cries of her mother

 

in labor for forty-eight hours.

Mama survives but delivers a

second dead baby. Mary Ann learns

 

to bury hurts as well, cover them

inside forgotten dreams. She leaves

the darkness under her bed

 

with the dust. Imagination,

it may be physically impossible.

Yet, I reach for the hand

 

of the twelve-year-old girl who will one day

give birth to me, and allow her

the gift of forbidden tears.

 

Perhaps then I can give

me full permission for

releasing mine.

 

 

 

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Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up. (Pablo Picasso)

Chrysalis

 

You laugh when I say Daddy and Uncle Steve were my babies. 

Pool water drips from our bathing suits

through the white plastic slats of our beach chair.

The dark puddles mimic gray shapes shifting overhead.

We sit wrapped in the limited safety of a gold beach towel.

I breathe the scent of your chlorinated hair as if it were medicine.

My embrace would save you from more than chill if it could,

make you a princess at the age of three. 

 

But I think of a chrysalis,

spared the struggle of opening its own cocoon yet denied flight.

I kiss you on the top of your dark, wet head

and tell you how wonderful you are.

I pray for your spirit to sing whenever gray clouds

meet inevitable dark patterns below.   

You giggle. Daddy and Uncle Steve. Babies.

It’s okay, Kate. You don’t need to understand.

Your small body curls next to mine.

I am in no hurry for you to grow up.

I have no idea how soon you will learn about loss.

 

That winter your friend slips under an ice-covered lake.

An accident. She’s critical. Her prognosis, unclear.

As the months pass and your birthday arrives

I prepare for your special dinner.

You come into the kitchen as I cook.

I expect you to ask about your presents.

Instead, you mention your friend,

in a coma now, a sliver of the child she once was.

I pray for her every day.

You appear unaware of the power of words larger than you are.

Your fresh four-year-old trust widens a chrysalis opening.

Gray skies shift overhead, bash the ground below,

and leave you twice as beautiful.

    

illustration made from public domain image and cut paper

published in For a Better World and Piker Press

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Play is the highest form of research. (Albert Einstein)

A Blue Bike

 

One 1950’s variety blue,

second-hand bicycle, no features

peddle-power only.

Balance, I’d mastered it.

 

A classmate begged to ride.

She sped down the hill,

made a squealing brake,

and met the concrete with her nose.

 

“It’s the bike’s fault,” she claimed.

Tears fell into the blood on her face

while she stared me down.

My parents said nothing.

 

Alone, I stepped into new shades of balance.

My peer seemed to choose a

shift-the-blame ploy. As a reticent child,

inaction was my norm. I hadn’t yet learned

 

when to be silent, when to speak.

I was mute out of fear. Balance

and courage took me years to develop.

To move from a fragile ego into integrity.

 

A new goal reaches into my horizon, to focus

less on blame than on the pain. How can I help you?

To be aware of both ploy and hurt. Neither

accepting nor giving censure. Not easy.

 

Balance includes more than gravity. To

maintain real-life love without being a jerk,

without giving more than I have.

One 2020 old lady moving forward, into peace.

 

published in For A Better World 2020

pic made from public domain image

 

 

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It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. (E.E. Cummings)

 

On a 1950’s Thursday afternoon

a little girl stands

on her imaginary stage.

A flat maroon, living room carpet.

 

Her pleasant scene grows as

a popular song drifts into her play space

from the kitchen radio where Mommy

boils potatoes for dinner

 

and complains about how quickly

three kids get a life dirty.

The girl listens to the music and

mimics the trills, crescendos,

 

and joy in the melody.

The child’s gentle vibrato promises a

clear soprano voice one day.

She would have added gestures

 

for her make-believe audience

but Mommy appears at the doorway

wielding her wooden spoon.

So-who-do-you-think-you-are?

 

Mommy turns away without striking.

Yet, the girl recognizes the warning

and retreats into the dark, silent spaces

between the lace curtains and window.

 

The song will not disappear.

She hears it inside her head

and saves the sound

for a safer moment

 

when she will lead her future

children to follow dreams,

discover subtleties,

laugh, cry, and simply be.           

 

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