I always wanted a happy ending… Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity. (Gilda Radner)
Sonder. A new word in my vocabulary. Definition: “The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.” I think about how once a stranger makes a few honest statements, similarities appear.
I wait for a simple service at a local clinic. The clinic is inside a grocery store. An emergency arrived before I signed in. I wait. People pass. I can’t see beyond closed-mouthed, focused-ahead expressions. These individuals’ lives hold more than any set of eyes can view. My impression is like a picture taken from a plane. Vague. No detail.
A person can seem far away. He may live next door, but who knows? His life may mimic the suspense of a best-selling novel. Or it may have a dé·jà vu feel to it.
What did the hurried woman face this morning? Why does the child linger behind? Sure, I can guess, provided my guess is a game or the beginning of a story. Judgment is cheap. Reality is complicated.
My time seems precious now. Test tomorrow. Surgery Wednesday. Several days in the hospital. Worry doesn’t fill me, only a strange wonder why I’m not living in tomorrow. This isn’t normal. Too many people praying for me. That must be it.
How do I make the most of waiting? How do I make the best of life without knowing what will happen next?
Positive and negative space joins to create art.
Fault and effort balance to create a real-life human being.
My husband waits at home for me. His love is real. We have been married most of our lives. I am grateful. And yet, all human spirts remain bound by ego and skin. Only a few saints have reached complete transparency. A thorough appreciation of the fullness of every person on earth.
The love I share with my husband, friends, and family makes each day worth the effort. What happens next? Delicious ambiguity.
terrypetersen 