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Posts Tagged ‘time’

“When infants aren’t held, they can become sick, even die. It’s universally accepted that children need love, but at what age are people supposed to stop needing it? We never do. We need love in order to live happily, as much as we need oxygen in order to live at all.”  Marianne Williamso


A toddler wanders wherever his curiosity leads 
while Mommy and older siblings caution him.
Greens, blues, and moving objects call
to his curiosity. Come. 

This moment is alive
even if he doesn’t know language
or time. Grandma’s wrinkles intrigue him. 
He sees intricate gold on her wrist,

not the hours held inside her memory.
To Grandma this moment seems
as limited as the space Mommy
permits her son to roam.

Toddler snuggles against
Grandma’s cheek. She knows
that all moments face limits.
Yet love endures.


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All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. (James Thurber)

Time. I’ve tried to wrap it in boxes
tied it with ribbon, 
then attempted to 
bind an hour with duct tape.

I’ve balanced on one leg,
kicked through water
and pretened strength could be
my master over the inevitable.

Hurry through tasks, I say,
beat the clock, and then tell 
exhaustion it doesn’t exist.

This moment—I’ve claimed it,
but held on longer than night and day allows.

Perfection. It doesn’t exist.
The whole of being can’t be 
grasped, owned and hugged 
as if it were a teddy bear.

I smile at a stranger. She smiles back.
The moment is neither longer nor shorter.
And yet its presence feels stronger.

No eternal answers
and yet, we instead of I, 
a recognition of companionship
in a world that doesn't need 
to be one-hundred percent struggle, 
adds running-with instead of fighting-alone.



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In my dreams, I never have an age. (Madeleine L’Engle)

A framed photograph dusted now and then.

The image never changes. One dresser

dragged through locations and years.

 

Scratched, worn. I am part of both experiences.

My bedroom mirror and 1971 wedding picture

affirm long-gone years.

 

Not different women. I rise from a dream

and recall fragments of sunlit forest.

Ageless spirit sees through a body’s eyes.

 

Reality may make harsh demands.

Yet, when a spirit dreams and recognizes its

power, it has an ageless vision.

 

 

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I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine. (Neil Armstrong)

 I don’t remember when I wrote this poem, but the year 2020 didn’t exist. This year’s events would have belonged to science fiction. Yet, somehow, the poem fits. I pray hope and beauty live in the manure these twelve months have provided. Peace. For all.

ONE OLD LOST CALENDAR

I find an old, unmarked calendar.

Three-hundred-sixty-five blocks of freedom

promised in small pristine white boxes.

Twenty-eight to thirty-one on each page.

It had been a difficult year,

better forgotten in a dusty closet.

And yet, like soil that is no more than

ordinary dirt, the kind that grinds

under the fingernails,

hope and beauty

were planted into the grime.

And their seeds

continue to grow, inventing bizarre

and beautiful surprises.

 

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The only thing worse than being blind is having sight and no vision. (Helen Keller)

My friend wears her mask over her nose, mouth—and eyes. I don’t comment. She’s blind. It doesn’t matter. I lead her to the hospital’s elevator and through registration. We wait. I suddenly realize

I left my phone in the car. I feel lost without it.

Sun shines through pale beige shades half-drawn along ample windows. The walls wear the same color and light. I try to embrace the moment. The gift of sight. The reason why I give to my friend.

But I left my phone in the car. I feel lost without it.

A medical assistant calls my friend’s name. Only patients are permitted in treatment rooms. I have time to think. To meditate while she meets with her doctor. Instead I bi-locate, tri-locate inside possibilities that will never be

because I left my phone in the car. I feel lost without it.

I find a single scrap of paper. And write. Absorb the moment. What gift is happening now? I breathe in and out. Slowly. My thoughts. Focused one moment, gone the next

because I left my phone in the car. I feel lost without it.

My friend returns. She leaves the aide’s arm and reaches for mine. Communication. Find the difference between sight and vision, want and need.

My friend and I talk. About the trivial, about memories that have lasted. “We’ve had a lot of red lights on this street,” my friend says. She is right. Aware, yet not stuck in the waiting.

My phone rests, messages on hold. Finally, I accept each bite of time. And swallow.

Kaleidoscope, mask and cell phone

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Each minute we spend worrying about the future and regretting the past is a minute we miss in our appointment with life. (Thich Nhat Hanh)

The electricity flashes off about eight in the morning, turns on again, and then gives up seconds later. I’m in the shower. Fortunately there is enough light to turn off the water and grab a towel.

The computer screen is a dull, uncooperative black. Google is as accessible as the inner chambers of a collapsed, condemned mine. At least temporarily.

I’m grateful my car is out of the garage because the garage door doesn’t have a convenient old-fashioned handle. It has a one-track attitude; it responds only to an electronic opener—and intact electricity. Sure, the door can be opened manually. If you are taller than the average fire hydrant.

Apparently the power outage has affected more than our short street. A traffic light at a major intersection is out. I am grateful for courteous drivers. Yes, they do exist. Unfortunately, the-guy-with-the-need-to-read-bumper-stickers-while-driving-seventy-miles-an-hour-three-inches-from-your-bumper demands more attention than the individual who understands four-way stops at a malfunctioning light.

The plot thickens. The electricity returns. About three hour later. But, suddenly we lose our land line, television, and Wifi connections.

A slow, steady rain falls, but no heavy wind, no indication of a thunderstorm. I think about unexpected struggles. Sometimes they are trivial, like a delay in access to my beloved connections to the world. Then again they can be violent, obviously coming from an uncontrollable force. The death of a faithful friend or family member, or a major loss.

And sometimes struggles come from unexpected, uncomfortable change. The slow disintegration of the agility in my hands, suddenly cramping without warning, or a discomfort that works its way into pain. Example: I suspect I pulled something in my left arm during an exercise class, but no length of rest, no amount of heat or cold, helps.

The nagging thought that this pain could be something more than a minor mishap crosses my mind. Not helpful. So, I imagine fear dissipating with the next breath, or out through an ear or… a nostril—don’t care where it escapes as long as it leaves. If something serious is happening let me face it when it is discovered, not now.

I slip my watch onto my wrist and discover that the time is correct. For a change. It may need a new battery. Or the timepiece may be past its prime. No object lasts forever. Uh, hold that thought until later. A lot later.

I discover that the pain in my arm is caused by a pinched nerve. Exercises that require weights will be off-limits for a while. A while may not have a definite end, but it does have one. Eventually.

Our push-back into an earlier non-electronic era ends as well. Apparently, our contact with the outside world had been stopped by a malfunctioning power brick.

So what is a power brick? I look it up and my virus protection warns me that the page isn’t safe. Other links assume I already know what a power brick is. Google images present pictures so diverse I feel as if I am a kindergartner who has drifted into an advanced technology class, or a pre-school kid who has volunteered to guide customers through Home Depot.

Anyone could easily guess I don’t know what I am doing. Let the experts install the master switch that guides my electronic universe. My husband and I thank our service technician and he thanks us for being pleasant customers.

I celebrate re-entry into the current century and take on gratitude.

My watch’s slowness can be faced later. “Uh, silver time-keeper, I’ll pencil you in for a checkup tomorrow at two.” Of course real life could make some other appointments in the meantime. Who knows? One day, one hour, one second as it develops.

watch

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