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Posts Tagged ‘wisdom in unexpected places’

I want to live life in such a way that if a photograph were taken at random, it would be a cool photograph. (David Nicholls) 

On a January Friday the main roads are clear and there are a few hours before the next arctic blast, so Jay and I run errands. We stop for lunch at a fast-food restaurant, not our first choice, but it works with the time we have.

A man with long white hair, Santa-style beard, and red T-shirt stands looking at the picture menu. We step back to let him enter the line ahead of us.

“No, you go first. I haven’t decided yet.” We talk about the weather as Jay and I wait to order.

“That will be $10.51,” the woman at the register says, sounding terminally bored.

The gentleman with the flowing beard tosses his credit card onto the counter. I turn around, stunned. “Thank you, but…”

“You don’t have to thank me. Thank, Jesus.”

I hold my breath, fearing a lecture on Christianity. It doesn’t happen, and I am grateful. My church has strong Christian roots, but I believe that a person’s spirituality can develop from multiple sources. The proof comes in the individual’s life, in an ability to love. This man makes his statement. Once. Then chooses to live it. He speaks of other matters: retiring in the distant future, current outside temperature, different kinds of chicken sandwiches. He waves to one of the employees working in the back.

His blue eyes sparkle. He definitely gives the impression of an individual who lives outside-of-the-box. But that is the way with geniuses, artists, and saints. “Just pass it on,” he says.

This may be January, almost a month after Christmas. However, I wonder if Santa, or Saint Pass-On-Some-Kindness hasn’t been hanging out at unlikely places lately, waiting to give folks a smile just when they need it.

The sun brightens—for a while, a blinding blue on top of the last coating of white. It won’t last long. No weather pattern in this part of the world ever does. It just feels that way. The result of generosity? Well, it can be a seed that grows into almost anything that is beautiful.

how you treat others

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You can’t wait for inspiration. Sometimes you have to go
after it with a club. (Jack London)

Our street is blocked because of utility construction—gas line work. No parking on either side of the street. Enough noise to get the ears in the neighborhood accustomed to the upcoming Fourth of July blasts. And, of course, there’s the joy of trying to maneuver in and out of the driveway. Sure, I realize I’m lucky. I have a house and a car. More important, I have a husband of forty-two years and three granddaughters. The car may be seventeen years old, but it starts—most of the time anyway.

But, unexpected inconvenience can masquerade as the end of the world. Well, with enough flare for drama, it can. So, at dusk I decide to look out the back window of the house after the workmen have left for the day. Two fawns lay resting in our yard. Their peaceful pose would make a great photo for a meditation page.

I sit at my dining room table in between separate realities: In the front of the house, a ravaged scene, divided into light and blacktopped squares covered with huge metal plates. Signs along both sides of the street read—no parking Monday through Friday from 7:00 A.M. until 5:30 P.M. Rocky rectangles of sidewalk.  In the back yard the two young deer remain on the grass. Plenty of grass nourished by weeks of rain. Green provides a rich buffet for buck, doe, or fawn from the top of the hill to the bottom. City reigns from one window’s view, nature from the other. What I see depends upon which scene I choose.

No season lasts forever. Even construction. Although I have seen more of it in recent winters. Perhaps that isn’t so bad either. Not in an economy where folk need jobs and lines need repair. Maybe I won’t take that parking place in front of my house for granted when the work is completed. It’s possible. Then the deer can return to the front. Of course, they ate all the tulips years ago. There are plenty of weeds, however, to make a fine dawn or dusk meal. Eat, nature, and enjoy.

sign in Albuquerque, New Mexico

closed from Inhabitants of Burque Albuquerque construction

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A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing. (Laura Ingalls Wilder)

I should have known my son Greg would grow up to become a stand-up comic. Actually, both of my boys had a knack for making me laugh. When Steve was in grade school he sneaked items like “a pony” onto my grocery list, somewhere in between milk and cereal.

Once, when the two were teenagers, they were watching sports as I left for my weekly shopping. Snacks and drinks were scattered on the floor by the living room couch.

“Be sure to have this cleaned by the time I come back,” I told them.

“Sure, Mom,” they said.

The fact that neither one of my sports enthusiasts blinked could have been a clue. The scene didn’t look any better when I returned.

“It’s okay, Mom. We’ll take care of it. Turn around,” Greg said.

“Uh huh.”

“No really.”

Sure, I sensed a conspiracy, but I turned around anyway, for about ten seconds. The boys grabbed an old throw rug and covered their dirty glasses and bowls with it.

“I don’t understand it,” Greg said. “It works in the cartoons.”

I’d been had. However, they repaired the damage. They probably brought the groceries inside—after I finished laughing. That part of the story isn’t part of the punch line. Good kids create a great family, but don’t add much to a joke.

Now Gregory Petersen is awaiting the summer publication of “Open Mike,” Martin Sisters Press, a fictional story about a comic on tour. Michael Clover delivers quick-wit lines that make his audiences laugh—most of the time. Self-healing takes more than a joke at another person’s expense.

Laugh on one page. Cry on another. Yet, each scene fits the way the ocean yields to high and low tides. It’s life in fictional form.

Please note: my son’s book is one-hundred percent fiction. We are not a prototype of the Clover clan. And I am grateful. In fact, Greg has told me that he can’t make it as a full-time comedian; his youth wasn’t horrible enough. He works a day job.

Ah, well, I am thankful for all the fun my sons continue to provide. I am blessed and know it.

laughter words to inspire the soul

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Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. (Leo Rosten, author, 1908-1997) 

My day’s plan is to walk through the woods and take everything in without judgment, A meditative stroll, without the need to put anything into words, without thinking about work that waits at home, no thought of time. Jay and I don’t even have a camera with us. Spring has arrived, finally, and the sun is cooperative. My lightweight coat is unzipped, baseball cap on, hiking boots laced.

Nature does its part. However—I have scarcely trudged fifteen minutes before I notice how many beech trees there are along this trail. Their parchment-white leaves left from last summer break through my resolve not to capture the experience in words. Oh, I didn’t promise to stop writing. Just pause long enough to commune with nature, let it talk to me before I express an opinion.

Yeah, trees, I forgot. Your turn to talk and my turn to listen. And the wind sways the branches, teasing me, begging me to define them. The old beech leaves curl, like cocoons, without butterflies, no need to prove anything. Yet, they have withstood snow, bitter temperature, and harsh winds.

You sure jabber to yourself a lot, an old oak calls, silently of course.

I beg your pardon.

Meditation requires quieting of the mind, not analyzing, even if your conclusions create poetry. The best art mimics life; it doesn’t recreate it.

The tree hasn’t been running around, trying to find its place in creation; it already knows.

I nod and continue along the trail until my husband and I reach the lake. He takes my hand and we watch the sun play along the surface of the water.

My mind doesn’t calm easily. It asks for results, generally immediately, or at least quickly, even though I have had a lot of experience working on projects that have taken years. Not all of them have been successful in the world’s eyes. That doesn’t mean I didn’t learn. Or that I am not learning from standing still, watching water move in slow mesmerizing patterns, on an ordinary April day, as if there were nothing better to do but be aware that life can be both beautiful and good.

knowledge has no end

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There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with. (Harry Crews, novelist and playwright)

Dictionary.com defines a whirling dervish as “a member of a Turkish order of dervishes, or Sufis, whose ritual consists in part of a highly stylized whirling dance.” However, mothers and grandmothers see another wild dance in their two and three-year-old kids on their way to world domination. Very few little folk walk from one place to another. They move with a swift, designed purpose—preferably toward something forbidden.

Yes, I know I’m not allowed in the bathroom alone. However . . . Ella doesn’t talk, but her eyes communicate well, so does the slam of the door. I open it as she signs washing her hands, which really means playing in the water. I tell her she may NOT close the door, and we will play in the water after she listens. Besides, even if I roll up her sleeves, they are going to get wet, soaked if possible. She must expect the warmth of her personality to dry them.

Ella grins. I notice that she really does need her hands washed. I guess the quick wipe after lunch wasn’t sufficient, but I win when it comes to prolonged play at the faucet. She doesn’t fuss as we leave the sink, without extended splashing. Our house may be small, but we have plenty of adventurous nooks for a young child to explore. I smile recalling the long road our little one has traveled.

She was born premature with Down syndrome at three pounds and three ounces. I recall her Giraffe bed. Giraffe is a brand name for a high-tech bed that keeps a critical-care newborn warm. It also makes procedures possible without moving a fragile, tiny body. Ella’s first nutrition was intravenous, by hyperalimentation until a defect known as duodenal atresia, could be corrected.

I was fortunate to be one of her primary caretakers while she was in the hospital. During that time I wrote and recorded a song for her. However, her premature system was unable to absorb simultaneous sounds. The song can still be accessed from the site I used before I began this blog: http://terrypetersen.webs.com/music.htm  (Scroll down to find the lyrics to Ella’s song. It was not possible to access the sound track temporarily. It works now. Don’t know why!)

Ella runs to the refrigerator and pulls off a magnetic letter C. “Kuh, kuh,” she says. Then she grabs an M. “Mmmmm.”

“Very good. And you are mmm good, too.”

Her shirt reveals her belly as she raises her arms for me to pick her up. I see the scar from the feeding tube from her first year. She doesn’t remember her infancy. She wants something mmm good from the refrigerator.

Years ago, if people would have told me I would be happy to be the grandmother of a child with Down syndrome, I would have asked them what color the sky was in their fantasy land.  Now, I know the gifts our little girl brings make wealth look trifling. When I wrote that she was “made of spunk and angel wings,” I had no idea how prophetic my own words would become.

(Ella in her Harley jacket. Note speed-blur)

Ella in Harley Jacket Dec. 2012

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Forever is composed of nows.  Emily Dickinson

Our granddaughter Ella may be in her pack-and-play for a nap, but that doesn’t mean she has any intention of succumbing to sleep. Fortunately she isn’t putting up an ugly protest. This time of day is relegated to rest and our little one knows it. She doesn’t cry without a good reason.

As I work at the computer Ella babbles. She could be talking to a stuffed animal, an imaginary friend, or her guardian angel. Our granddaughter’s language hasn’t developed enough for us to know. Down syndrome has delayed her speech, but has elevated her understanding of the now, a place to be embraced—even if Grandma could be hogging all the fun Curious George games and Sesame Street videos.

I hear a cackle, perhaps the punch line to some joke only she understands. I shake my head and swallow a laugh. Apparently her run through Lowe’s didn’t wear her out this morning. It took two adults to keep one three-year-old girl from rearranging a huge hardware store. While I picked out an area rug for the computer/toy room, Grandpa followed our blonde tornado through the store. Ella made friends along the way, too. She always does, with her magnet-blue eyes and innocent smile. Her beauty and personality reach beyond the limitations of Down syndrome. She makes people feel chosen by her love. It relays an angel’s touch.

Perhaps an angel is teaching her the tricks of the trade—right now. And I don’t know a thing about the lesson. I can’t see or hear her life teachers. I may not have been born with the competition gene, but that doesn’t mean I don’t compare myself to folk who achieve a lot more. I also grow restless when time steals moments I feel are rightfully mine.

No day belongs to me. It is a gift, just as Ella is a gift.

Eventually the noise and rustling stop and I hear two voices in the bedroom. Grandpa and Ella laugh. It is post-rest time. Let the blessings continue. After all, I have a lot to learn.

It's today Pooh shared by Jane Friedman

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Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.  (Minna Antrim)

Okay, I could tab to indent on my computer a few minutes ago. What happened? The cursor thinks a new paragraph begins toward the end of the line. Sure, the story I’m writing is fantasy, but the wild and unusual is supposed to remain within the context of the tale, not jump out into the keyboard.

So far I haven’t figured out how to fix it. In the meantime I count spaces and try to refrain from cursing—at least out loud. Impatience can be costly. More than once I have experienced the Lewis Carroll quote, “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.”  Several days ago I broke our Waterpik. Cracked an attachment. With my bare arthritic hands. Amazing what a little hurry can do. Then I noticed our printer is suffering from overuse and old age. Just when I promised to print out a couple hundred-thousand pages of something. (slight hyperbole)

Patience, patience, where art thou? Perspective, you should be around here somewhere, too. They both have a tendency to hide, generally when they are most needed. These are the times when made-from-scratch cakes fall. Cups fall from shelves and break, on their own of course. And that essential map for a trip gets left on the coffee table at home.

I sigh, and then pick up my plan for our small group’s church service on Sunday. Perhaps I should look at it and see if I am missing anything since my brain’s auto pilot seems out of whack. Darn, I sure don’t have to be concerned about running out of flour and oil like the widow in l Kings 17. Oh, we aren’t rich, by any means. Open our refrigerator door and the kitchen is blocked, but we aren’t poverty-stricken either. I have a computer, satisfactory health, and the ability to help others when they need it.

Pause. Breathe. Come back to the problem later. Or get someone else to help. Maybe even learn something new.

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Write what you know. That should leave you with a lot of free time. (Howard Nemerov)

Okay! The challenge is on.

I know imperfection inside and outside. My PhD has nothing to do with a doctorate in philosophy. I am positively of human design. The mirror has the audacity to point out every wrinkle and bulge in my barely five-foot-tall frame, and I don’t deny what it reflects. Sure I should have given away all of the rest of the Halloween candy, but some of it lives in a circle around my waist. At least the last bag will be empty soon. Then I can move on to perfection—never. Other flaws will pop out, probably out of my mouth in verbal form, or reflect in a stumble somehow.

Or, I can feel and worry a tad too much for my own good.

Last Sunday my precious oldest granddaughter broke her finger while she was at our house. I had answered the phone, and missed everything but the scream. As her mommy and daddy took her through the rounds of x-rays and doctors, my concern exceeded the practical.

In fact, as my husband and I took a long walk the next day, my little finger felt awkward inside my glove. Strange, I felt as if my hand didn’t fit into the weave anymore. Now that is going overboard! I suspect that if I had needed to take my granddaughter for the required medical visits, I would have quieted the over-the-top empathy and stood firm for her. However, that doesn’t mean my heart rate wouldn’t have developed the power to generate electricity.

Imperfect? The list of examples could go on for pages.

Somehow I suspect even the genius is made-up of more flaw than masterpiece. Omniscience is an incredible burden: no peers, all work, no play.

Give me friends who readily admit error. I’m comfortable around them. The folk who have all the answers either bore me into a stupor or tempt me to search the room for escape routes.

Okay, I’ve finished my dissertation on the common. Unfortunately, I don’t have hours of time left in my day to twiddle my thumbs and do nothing. Most of life’s chores don’t involve words;  knowledge is only part of my journey.

I hope everyone has an imperfectly perfect day, filled with sufficient blessing to see the unique in everyone, even that slightly off-center person reflected in the mirror.

(pic from The Optimism Revolution)

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Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis. (Zig Ziglar)

I have at least an hour to work but I’m tired. A nap sounds like a better idea. However, this tired is the kind that seems to feed on itself. An hour of exercise or engaged activity will pull me out of it better than time under the covers. Besides, Ella is taking a nap. Okay, she’s in bed, but talking up a storm. She’s fighting rest time, and my chances of catching a few z’s right now are about as likely as falling asleep in a tent during a hailstorm.

I have my annual Christmas story to finish. There’s always another blog to begin. Or, I could weed through my novel and get the next chapter ready for critique group. Cleaning is too noisy when there is a little one “napping.” Fine with me. I did most of that yesterday anyway. I’ll wait for phone calls until later. Maybe, just maybe our little one will jabber herself to sleep and I don’t want to interrupt that possibility.

Stay awake, Ter. Be aware. Live in this hour as much as possible. Perhaps loss is inevitable, but I’ve seen too much of old bodies locked in geri-chairs, confusion, pain controlled—maybe—yet spirit dormant, lost in the past, smiles delayed or absent. I don’t want to stare at the ceiling prematurely.

It seems too important to live without regrets, to listen to my granddaughter’s sweet voice, happy, jabbering away. She isn’t crying, indignant because she was put in bed. She sings in her own style. Today she wins. She stalls long enough to avoid sleep entirely. Oh, I suspect she will pay eventually since she is young, not invincible. For now her chi vibrates with enthusiasm and fills the low energy places in my being.

Other-people oriented folk spread peace and joy. Of course that kind of attentiveness is intangible and can’t be measured. However, just maybe, it can make the difference between being a shell in a nursing home and housing a healthy, grateful spirit. Don’t know. I can’t see inside a paralyzed body. A spirit could be doing cartwheels unnoticed.

I think about the older gentleman who watches out for my father at the nursing home. He is profoundly hard-of-hearing and doesn’t recall events that occurred ten minutes earlier. However, there is a glow in his eyes that speaks of a holy motivation. I look for him when I visit my dad. “You’re looking good today,” he says. And I wonder, hope really, that he is seeing more of my soul than my physical appearance.

I can’t say. Chances are he doesn’t know my name. His memory is far too short. Doesn’t matter. Let me learn from the old, the young, and the woman in line behind me at the grocery who helped me pack my groceries yesterday. We are in this life to learn from one another. I’m awake now. I’ll rest when I am genuinely fatigued, and get myself going when I have a bad case of just-don’t-wanna.

(pic from the Optimism Revolution)

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There’s no one thing that’s true. It’s all true. (Ernest Hemingway)

Jay and I arrive at the parking lot at John Bryan State Park—no bathroom within sight. I was sure there was at least an outhouse the last time we were here. We are on our way for a hike that will last several hours through the park and into Clifton Gorge State Preserve. We are walking for the exercise, but we are also escaping life’s pressures and enjoying the glory of God in nature; don’t want unnecessary internal distraction.

Then, my sister Claire calls. Church ended later than usual. She will meet us in a half hour. Ah, we have thirty minutes to find the required services.

It doesn’t turn out to be as easy as we thought it would be. We see a building off to the left on one road, and then notice another, “The Dayroom.” We wonder what that is, and decide to check it out. After all, a room open for the day should have indoor plumbing.

The parking lot is filled, but we find a place nearby and walk to this Dayroom. The building is surrounded by people in costume.

“Do you know if this building has a restroom?” Jay asks a man dressed as a Red Cross nurse. He has on a garish red and white dress, complete with padded chest. Yet his mannerisms are masculine. He has a thick salt-and-pepper beard and ready smile.

He drops his cigarette to his side. “Sure. There is a wedding going on inside. I’m the father of the bride.”

A young boy, perhaps eight or nine years old, in a black cape, directs us to the sides of the building we want.

Inside is a small kitchen where someone is busily preparing meat, perhaps turkey or chicken. The smell is enticing. However, I have no plans to crash a wedding, only borrow one moment in a restroom stall. The main room remains Halloween dark. I see the bride in a gown that looks more packed-in-a-box ready than forever-in-debt Nordstrom.

The room is rich with laughter and music. No one stops me.

When Jay and I leave the building, father-of the-bride is still outside greeting guests and laughing about what a picture of himself he is giving his nephews. He shows us his fingernails, painted a bright red.

I laugh too. Later we discover the outhouse I remembered is on the trail, out of view of the parking lot. Doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t have had the same story to tell if we had found it.

When Jay and I married, we had the tux-and-fancy-gown-style wedding. In a church. Traditional all the way.  That didn’t affect much of life after “I do.” That’s the part that really matters, the part that can’t be predicted. We’ve had some wonderful times; we’ve seen tragedies. No one day is truer than another.

However, I know that it helps to laugh, whenever possible. Like physical exercise it keeps the only-human muscles going.

Here’s to real life! Blessings upon all.

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