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oranges

A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. William Arthur Ward

 Kind words. Sometimes they fall into holes in the road and get lost in chunks of debris. Other times they fill the broken spaces and find the exact contour of the cracks. The words can be random. No more than greetings followed by ordinary blessings. Or friendships that begin with unexpected common interests.

I took of picture of four oranges a neighbor gave me this morning. A gift of some extra Vitamin C for nothing more than a smile and friendly conversation.

Peace. Upon all.

If only it were always that simple.   

 

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“The truth is I'm getting old, I said. We already are old, she said with a sigh. What happens is that you don't feel it on the inside, but from the outside everybody can see it.” 
― Gabriel García Márquez





Parallel Places
                                                                         
Two men lie parallel
in geri-chairs.
Mesmerized, one
watches the other sleep,
acts as his protector.
When the sleeping man gasps
and coughs, the first
jolts upright. On unsteady feet
he stands, ready 
to save his comrade.

Two aides rush
to settle the first man.
One of them leans forward
and shouts into his ear. 
You fell this morning. Remember?

I did? 
He appears perplexed, then
does as he is told.
On his side, with his
eyes open wide, he watches,
breath timed
with his wheelchair-bound friend,
even though his sleeping comrade
floats unaware in distant dreams.

The sleeping man’s visitors,
a man and a woman,
notice the gentle guard.
They smile and assure
the old gentleman
he can stay where he is.
He nods.
He may hear.
Or not. He continues his
quiet watch.

The sleeping man's visitors talk about
their grandchildren,
vacations, ordinary tasks.
until the summer heat 
breaks into a storm.

The woman rises
to kiss the sleeping
man on his forehead.
His eyes flutter, 
but he doesn't rouse.

She pauses. The space between
real and unreal appears, 
a shore cracking and dividing.
She fears touching a place
that doesn’t promise an exit. 

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I already have a headache. So why do I keep messing with 
this printer?


Jay,” I call to my husband. “Looks like our printer
is
going flat line.”

It’s had technological heart failure or a fatal key 
stroke, then disconnected itself from life support.

Maybe you can call Tom Strotman. See if he can help
shop for a new one with us
.”

I dial as if my fingers were disconnected. Okay, girl, 
one thing at a time.
Finally, his phone rings.
I tell him about my crisis.

“Did you check the spooler?” he asks.

“What’s that?”

He answers in a calm retired-teacher voice, “I need 
to get up at five tomorrow to go out of town
to babysit,
but I can stop by right after dinner and help.”


The Strotman grandparents get an A-plus in nurturing.
Tom arrives about an hour later.


And he is right. He knows the solution. Restart both
the computer and printer.
Go to Start. Open Settings.
Now Devices. Now Printers and Scanners. Find printer
and Open Queue
.

Apparently, I created a disabled vehicle on the 
freeway at rush hour.
I added a no-go in the
high-speed lane
. Traffic was on hold.

This will probably be the only technically centered blog 
you will find with my name attached to it. This will not
be the only space where I will honor someone who deserves
it.

Thanks, Tom. A best and blessed friend from our twenties
to seventies. I smile whenever I think about
 you
and your family.

(Your wife is the best by the way.)
 
 
 
 
 
 

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ping pong ball

Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.  (Henry James)

Every blog I have written has always included either a series of related facts, often through mutual experience, sometimes in poetry form. Today I am sharing a piece of flash fiction I wrote several years ago. Fiction or poetry relays reality in ways that touches the spirit sideways, sometimes a more effective route.

The written punishment in the short-short story was a familiar one when I was a kid in the seventh grade: Write about something hollow, invisible. The Inside of a Ping Pong Ball.

I suspect the point was to keep a student quiet long enough to think and to engage his or her creativity in a useful direction. I don’t know. I was a quiet kid. On one level I wanted to try it. However, getting in trouble on purpose wasn’t an option.

I gave the assignment to a character in my imagination.

The Inside of a Ping Pong Ball

Okay, Miss Marshall. You gave me the standard punishment. Write 500 words on the inside of a ping pong ball. The essay is due tomorrow morning, Tuesday, April 17, 1956.

I admit it. I talked while you were talking. I told Helen Keith how sorry I am that her grandma died. She had a heart attack on Helen’s birthday. I sighed pretty loud while you were giving instructions about how to write our next composition. You told us to describe how we could make Wellington School a better place. We were to present our plans properly.

            “Be sure to write neatly with a fountain pen. No turquoise ink. No smudge marks. No repeating very 25 times in 25 sentences.”

            I now have another assignment. A punishment. In at least 500 words, I need to extrapolate on the inside of a ping pong ball. Extrapolate was on the new-vocabulary list last week. I hope I get points for that because I’m not upset that you didn’t understand why I interrupted you. This essay gives me a chance to explain. I know you paid for Jeremy’s prescription glasses when his parents couldn’t afford them. He didn’t keep it secret, as you asked him. You aren’t mean. So, I hope you will forgive me for getting off the subject now and then. Everything will fit inside the ball. Soon.

            How many times does a ping pong ball racquet hit a ball without denting the thin shell? Yet solid air holds it intact.

            Strange how silence can work. You asked me what I had to say. Was it that important? It worked better to keep quiet. I let your imagination go wild instead of letting you know that Helen hadn’t slept the night before. All she wanted was one more hug from her grandma.

            You see, her grandma asked Helen to hug her before she left for a party, that started in twenty minutes. Helen said she would do it the next time.

            There was no next time. Her grandma died of a heart attack.

            Helen had been smart enough to pass me a note and not open her mouth. Talking would make her cry. Crying in school is as bad as wetting your pants while writing on the blackboard.

            So, this is about emptiness again, the inside of a ping pong ball.

            And Helen finally had to fill it with words. Written words. I didn’t save them.

            Did you know a twelve-year-old could have this much to say? Air is the empty inside of something. It holds a thing together or pretends to hold it together. My mom says I grew up too fast. Maybe that is because my dad died when I was seven. I have never seen the inside of a ping pong ball. But I have an idea about how it feels. Strong in one way and lonely in another.

            My mom says that is why Helen knows to come to me.

            The boys in our class get in trouble so that they can write something funny. I suspect that if I do something that doesn’t fit the rules again, I will have a different punishment.

            I am sorry I talked at the wrong time. I am not sorry I helped Helen.

           

 

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bass violin

A kind word never broke anyone’s mouth. (Irish proverb)

Sometimes someone needs to hear about the good

he or she does, not as a reward. As an acknowledgment.

A chance to give kindness a fresh shape. Not an avalanche

of compliments. A moment of recognition, a boost.

After all, life is both sunshine and storm.

 

I won’t share the full printed note sent to my

daughter-in-law about her son, Dakota.

I don’t know the music director who

wrote it. Her words were directed to

Dakota’s mom. His mom and I are close

friends, and she shared the message with me.

The message in Essence: Dakota, is a ten-year-old, fourth-grade boy. He is learning to play the bass. And learning to play well. He works without expecting immediate gratification. Dakota also helps his fellow bass player. With whatever she needs. Dakota is a neat child. He helps clean-up after class. He doesn’t need to be asked because he is an independent thinker. 

My addition: The child has depth. I know because one day while we were collecting rocks in an old wagon, he said, “You know you won’t live forever.”I answered. “True. So, let’s enjoy the day together. Make it worthwhile.” He smiled and we continued our play. Dakota and two old, yet still-moving rocky wagons. The message from his teacher was a precious gift, but not a surprise. Dakota is a young boy with mature insight. I am blessed to call him grandson.

Peace and many kind words to all.  

 


					

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I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”   (Kurt Vonnegut)

No point putting my socks back on—my feet are covered with sand—from my son’s backyard sandbox. Yes, this senior citizen has been playing with dump trucks and plastic buckets. I follow the lead of my favorite kindergartner, Dakota.

He asks about what kind of work both my husband and I have done, and what I do now.

I state as simply as possible the jobs we had in young-person language. “I write books now.”

“Sounds boring.” He rams a motorcycle over a sand ramp. A wheel falls off. He grins as he clicks it back on.

I suppose when an individual’s written vocabulary is limited to one and two-syllable words, it could be. My granddaughter Ella has been reading since she was four. Different interests.

But, I don’t say anything. I let his opinion stand and heap a plastic shovel of packed sand into the next project, a castle. The building lasts almost three seconds before Dakota smashes it and turns it into something else. Another truck obstacle.

At age six, the pretend world is always in progress.

Next, he introduces me to a new Wii game. I have no aptitude for sports in the tangible world. On the flat screen, my lack reaches a new low.

“Well, I guess you win again,” I say.

We are ready to go outside for more activity, and he takes my hand. A gentle gesture. Dakota is considerate. I mentioned once today as I swung an invisible baseball bat, that I was thirsty and he ran to get me water, with ice. He also wanted to wash dishes, but left the big knife for me. A smart decision.

By tomorrow, my at-home to-do list will be too long to fit on the side of a mile-long wall. Those tasks will wait. Today I spend time with a young gentleman who doesn’t care about what I can or what I can’t do. He knows I care a lot about him, and he cares a lot about me. We are family, and that is all that matters.

You are right, Mr. Vonnegut. If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.

(photo-shopped public domain photo)

.

 

 

 

 

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A change in perspective is worth 80 IQ points.  (Alan Kay)

I awaken from a short evening nap on the couch at my brother-in-law’s house. I can’t breathe. One inhalation of albuterol, two. Desperate, wheezy attempts to get air out of my lungs.

“Should I take you to the ER?” my husband asks.

We are six hours from home. The ER could be one mile away or as far away as Mercury. I don’t know. Finally, a pause between coughs. Water. More water.

I decide I will make it through the night. My brother-in-law escorts me to the most efficient air-conditioned room. My sister-in-law sleeps on the floor. I remain in a recliner I can’t adjust with a fractured right hand in a brace. My sister-in-law maneuvers the chair up and down as I need it, even for my nighttime bathroom trips. She needs to leave for work at eight in the morning, yet is willing to help me.

My wheezing doesn’t stop, but it doesn’t reach a critical level. I have no idea how much time lapses between albuterol rescue inhalations.

A frightening scene? Maybe. However, my in-laws are close-by. Jay is in a room next door. Love lives here. It fills me. Night will not give up a single hour of darkness. Yet, light survives. In hearts and minds.

A trip to Urgent Care. Antibiotics. Prednisone. More waiting to be the full me I recognize.

To breathe freely.

To turn the key in my car’s ignition with my right hand.

To sign Stinky, Rotten Threats, Book Two in the Star League Chronicles, now available, with a signature that doesn’t look as if I were pretending to wield an electric saw struck by lightning.  

To cut my own sandwiches.

To celebrate the ordinary.

The magic available in fantasy doesn’t exist on the everyday plane. The magic available inside the human spirit has power. It changes perspective. I’d like to say my IQ is 80 points higher because I learned to accept and appreciate care.

More likely, I’m simply a lot happier.

The same flower, in darkness and in light

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Life is just a short walk from the cradle to the grave and it sure behooves us to be kind to one another along the way. (Alice Childress)

The media broadcasts a different spin on the same violence and shock-value stories, day and night, and calls them news. Naivety is not a virtue; responding with further ugliness isn’t helpful either.

Someone with a lot more wisdom than I have will need to find balance among the warring forces. In the meantime, can it hurt to spread kindness? The results may not be immediate, but the possibilities reach in a more hopeful direction.

I have two examples.

Recently, my husband and I made friends with A. She has a rich sense of humor and she loves 50’s and 60’s music as much as my husband does. She knows the names of bands and their songs.

When we met, I thought we were helping her because she needed rides to senior functions; she is blind. However, I soon learned that she not only discerns voices well, she listens, with sincere compassion. “I’ll be your friend for life,” she tells me. And I believe it.

As she gets into the car she talks about all her activities, and I wonder how she manages. “Okay if I drive home?” she asks. It is okay to laugh. She sings “Jingle Bells” in an elf character voice. She pulls it off.

The pain in my neck and shoulders relaxes. By evening the blessings grow when I learn about the second example of kindness.

My son’s girlfriend was with her son, Dakota, at a store. Next to the checkout were some too-expensive-to-buy-on-a-whim toy cars. The boy is five, and into action. His big brown eyes grew big when he saw the treasures.

This little guy has had some rough moments in his young life, but he is one-hundred percent charmer. That does not mean Mommy had the money.

I was not present, but I suspect Dakota’s interest was more in-awe than demanding because an older couple in the line behind Mommy bought the gift for Dakota.

The car is more than a toy; it is a symbol for the fact that kindness exists in the world, and it can continue to grow.

Do two examples of kindness, one friend with an open heart plus one generous stranger, obliterate hate? Of course not. Should we all stand in a circle and chant platitudes as if huge world problems didn’t exist? Would be nice if that worked. I suspect each person plays a different role. Some people may need to be in-your-face active, others subtle yet constant in integrity.

In the meantime, I thank a woman who taught me to feel the subtleties of warmth and chill in the air. She also taught me to appreciate seeing skies as blue or gray palettes, always changing, sometimes swirled with white, or edged in pink.

I thank an older couple who may never read these words.

Perhaps a greater handicap than blindness is not being able to care.

I open the door into whatever happens.

gift-car-nov-16-2016

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I am a tiny seashell
that has secretly drifted ashore
and carries the sound of the ocean
surging through its body. (
Edward Hirsch)

I may not live anywhere close to the ocean, but the ocean-sounds of my experiences remain in the short seashell-body of who I am. They hide in anyone old enough to have a past.

Yes, free will exists, but often knee-jerk reaction comes from expected hurt or rejection that has nothing to do with the moment; it involves long-ago scars formed in the evaporated sea of the past.

The love and acceptance of others creates fresh memories and the ability to see beauty—inside and outside of our shells. There are people who walk the earth who don’t know they are angels. They bring enough light for others to see beyond the expected.

Ella’s soft pink animal-print blanket lies over a chair for show—so that it can be photographed. The blanket was made to comfort her, to keep her warm during a time that promises to be difficult. Her open-heart surgery is scheduled for January 30. The large flannel square is a gift, offered by a woman who doesn’t know our little girl. Barb may or may not have seen a picture of our granddaughter. She gives because that is what she does. I told her I included photos of her creativity in my blogs. I don’t think she has ever looked at them. Praise is not her goal. A simple thank-you suffices.

I now want to be resilient like Ella and humble like Barb. I know Barb’s last name because I have finally been introduced to this gentle angel, but if anonymity serves her intentions, then publishing her first name is stretching it as far as I dare.

Once upon a time I recall being in a retreat group that was asked a rhetorical question. “What would the world be like if you hadn’t been in it?” The second question develops from the first: “What persons have touched your lives in a special way, yet never knew they blessed it?” That question was given more time.

Those people continue to arrive. And I suspect that if I am busy enough with gratitude there won’t be as much room for resentment and worry.

The sound of the ocean surges inside my metaphorical seashell. And sometimes it remembers storms; other times it recalls gentle waves and warm water. It explores each grain of sand underneath it, and knows it is not alone.

blanket made by Barb

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A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won’t be too bad. (Robert Wagner)

I’ve often said that I won’t be allergic to dogs and cats in my next life—as if I had a genuine grasp of what a next life looks like, embraces, or involves. I don’t always know where my cell phone is, much less the substance of the infinite. However, I really would love to squat down and call, “Come here, Spike,” and then let my grand-dog lick my arms, neck, and  face—slobber all over me if he wanted.

Spike is an example of acceptance and unconditional love.

My youngest granddaughter is sick. I’m bringing dinner to her daddy’s house. My visiting time must be limited. I can manage short encounters, but as soon as I feel the slightest chest tightness I need to leave the premises, as in immediately. Itchy eyes would be difficult enough; I need to give up breathing to enjoy the presence of a fur-bearing creature. Fortunately, the weather allows us to eat on the patio. Outside, Spike can shed all he wants and the air absorbs the allergens. And I can appreciate him.

He looks for morsels of dropped food, but doesn’t growl when no one gives him a handout.  He already had dinner.  He stops by my chair and looks up, dark eyes begging to be petted. I smile and congratulate him on his many virtues, but don’t make contact with his soft fur. He moves away, patiently lying close to the table and waits for attention.

I think about how unlike Spike I would be in similar circumstances. So you’re the snooty type. Okay, suit yourself. I don’t need you either. Perhaps my grand-dog sees deeper than I do. He settles next to Ella and her daddy as he cradles the suffering little girl in his lap. Maybe Spike is sending positive vibes.

It’s hard to tell what he understands. I don’t speak dog. The folk who have a loyal pet are both fortunate and blessed.

 

Spike is a tad larger, black with white markings, but his expression is similar to this dog’s.

sleeping dog

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